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Tuesday, September 30, 2003

It is one hell of a long day. We are making up Hurricane Isabel classes today. Basically that means I have class straight from 11-3. I know this doesnt sound that bad but it is still tiring.

However somehow today is a day of revelations. You know that experience of reading something and having it resonate with you and prompt your thoughts in a certain direction.

Yes Tink we can tell where you are going with this, what made you think???

Well my intelligent (and not so intelligent) readers here you go:
Making the process of learning my goal. that is a new and novel thought that just floated into my brain. Actually being present and experiencing every part of the process and letting the outcome determine itself. Hmm I need more eastern philosophy to sink into my head I think before it will root- but damn it sounds good to me.

Monday, September 29, 2003

Monday mornings really suck. And I mean really bad. After a wonderful weekend at the beach returning to reality is sincerely painful.

The weather is seeming like it will take a turn for the Fall (which wont be bad once I get my clothes). I am really hoping that I dont get Dan's cold (ie- the plague). A few people have come down with it, but I am sticking with my stuffed up nose being part of the whole ocean up my nose experience and the change in weather.

Classes are going well though I am not sure what the hell the purpose of my Monday class is. The Prof is really nice, but I have no clue what the purpose of the class is or what she is looking for at any time. That is a bit annoying. Oh well- I have more reading to do so....
Pardon me, I am going to go and suck up a few horse tabs of echinecea.
It was glorious. I woke up and went straight into the ocean again. Well I relaxed and read some before I got back in. I can’t resist the pressure or draw of the water and in the morning it is gorgeous. I watched the pelicans ride the waves and fish. I watched people play with their dogs and fish the morning away. I love the water too much, I love the beach and this one is no exception. At the end of the day I can still feel myself riding the waves, it is a wave running through my ears with me feeling like I am moving with it. The fact that I may be coming down with Dan’s cold (bastard- should have never shared my ice cream with him) shouldn’t factor into my disequilibria. I got flipped (yes 360 degree flip) by the waves which was actually fun. And I am still in love with it, cant think of a day that I wont be. But I am hoping that the salt content in the water will help whatever I may have starting at the back of my throat and sniffles congestion to go away (I will be buying drugs tomorrow and lots of them- this pressure in my nose sucks). There is a certain sense of peace that I have when I am near water. I have yet to find it replicated anywhere else. The beach was just gorgeous. I should have put some sunscreen on though. I have a beautiful pink line on my back but nice and rosy cheeks.
We got home and I proceeded to do a lot of nothing. I really should have done some reading but the pull of the TV drug me in. That is another powerful pull in my life. I prefer the pull of a beach house. Oh well I am doing to sleep with my ears all funked up and me well hopefully sleeping well. Maybe I wont be so pink tomorrow. Maybe I can face that mess I call a room and the situation with my cell phone and have some more order to my life. Ha like that will happen. Well the cell phone part will, I hope.

Sunday, September 28, 2003

I am such a bad girl. I was supposed to stay in town this weekend. I was supposed to get work done. I was supposed to read 250 random pages, full of fact and detail about some historical topic with a point of which I cannot ascertain. But after working out Megan, Cecily and I decided to head to the beach. We headed out had fun on our 3.5 hour road trip, and got there late but went for a night swim anyways. I love the water, and the Atlantic was warm! It is odd to be in an ocean where you actually swim in it. A sea is one thing but the Ocean I am used to coming in contact with (the Pacific) is not one you just go and hop in. I was bouncing in the waves, flashing people (halter top swimsuits- not wave breaker suit material- should have just skinny dipped) and getting sand in places that I don’t want to remember about. I am tired but so happy and satiated. I have this love relationship with the water. I LOVE it. We went for a walk and then swam again some more. Cecily had me cracking up- she squeals like Beaker at the water coming near her. She is like my new sister. I don’t get along this well with women usually but she is like my soul sister. It is hysterical and she is as big of a freak as me so you can imagine how much we laugh. We got her in the water amazingly as she does not like the water and this time she actually enjoyed herself.

Friday, September 26, 2003

There was lecture series today but no morning class so it was pretty nice. The lecture series went longer than normal so it kind of consumes most of the day unfortunately. At least the two topics were complimentary and interesting. And the academics gave presentations so I kind of got to see what that would be all about when it came to presenting your research.
We got home and tried to cram as before we went out. Those ideas we dashed. We had a downy explosion. It was a nuclear reaction when the downy lept to its death. Where upon it spilt all on to the carpet. Our apt is now fluffy downy fresh now and we spent 20 minutes trying to soak Downy out of the carpet. So we were a bit late for Megan’s wine and cheese party.
On the way we found the best sign- it is for a storage unit place. It says (no joking) “Special Discount for Short People.” Yes I did get my picture in my evening dress (dressy gear) underneath the sign. It was most certainly an interesting evening, on all fronts. The cute boy wasn’t there- just the program people and a two other friends. The friends got WAY out of control and well Martin passed out- which is actually impressive. I had fun with most of the people there.
It is always humorous to have people right in front of your face assuming you are an ass, and trying to talk about you with out you knowing what they are saying. If you are going to do that you really shouldn’t do it in a language that beyond what ever you may think about my grammar I do at the least understand and can get my point across if needed. Talk smack if you want- but have the balls to say it to my face.

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Thursday Thursday Thursday. Not much to this day. Had a decent evening but really didn’t do a whole hell of a lot. So I am not going to say a damn thing.

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

One more thing I don’t get. All of this Carolina Blue school spirit. I mean girls come to classes wearing cheer shorts. No that is work out clothes not class clothes. I have done the PJ pants and sweats route but please something else. But walking past one of the many main street Carolina gear stores I saw it all taken too far. NO NO NO your thong should not have a UNC logo on it. That my dear friends, is just WRONG. No if ands or buts about it.
Went to my communications class this morning. I have to say that thus far I am actually beyond disappointed, I cannot really express it. The class is lame and the somewhat interesting readings have all been political science lite. We watched an interesting film on the “pollution” of Arab culture by American media. But still I just don’t get this class. Really wishing even though I don’t like security policy that I had taken that class.
I am almost ready for my presentation leave it to me to wait till the absolute last second. I will finish and I will fly the rest of it by the seat of my pants. That is the only way to do this. I mean we have been given the impossible task so I am just going to do my best. But as with everything in life I need more time.
The presentation tanked a bit but that was because the Prof took the wind out of it right before we went live. Oh dear. I managed to bumble through- but I hadn’t finished all the reading needed cause I couldn’t get one of the books- which sucks! Got an email from the twat in the midst of presentation telling me he could see inside my shirt. Sometimes you just want to flash a boy to shut them up. Went out afterwards with Dan and met up with a few other students. They headed out and we had fun with Dan. We watched TV using Dan as a pillow. I love boys they make the best pillows. Dan fell asleep and Cecily tortured the poor boy. I love Dan boys who make me laugh are gold. Cecily and I have started the Dan Fan club. Afterwards we took the sick boy and headed to the movie theater. Watched Once Upon A Time in Mexico, and then all pretty much headed home to sleep.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Well today as a whole was nice. I got a big check and I am not going to think of it in terms that I have just gone more in debt than I am able to pay off. I am NOT, it is my money now…. Hahaha. Never fear though I have a shit load of bills to pay and I will be broke again shortly.
Went to class- it is really getting interesting and I am having a great time with it. Chapel Hill may not have impressed me yet (I was SOOO spoiled at home) but the program is a whole other issue.
Cecily and I have our presentation tomorrow and it sucks. You give us a classroom that doesn’t necessarily know what it is doing, may or may not have done the readings and a twat who I shit you not is quite possibly watching Lord of the Rings on his laptop while trying to look studious, and ask us to present a loaded topic on both history, theory, and dynamic change. And here is the catcher- yeah go for it you have together 25 minutes. WTF??? So we went to see the Prof. making sure we were on the right track. I stayed late to try and nail a paper topic. But that didn’t so much work and I looked like an idiot. Great job ditz-brain, look disorganized in the most organized academic office you have ever seen to an absent minded professor you might want a letter of rec from. ARGH, go home!
Got home worked on condensing a 40 page theoretical article and information on a major piece of “legislation” down to less than 2 pages for a hand out. By the end of the evening I was completely BRAINDEAD. And I do mean completely.

Monday, September 22, 2003

I woke up late and missed class again. This is not a good pattern. The class may be a jack off class but the issue is that they take attendance (like I am three) and this is now a bad thing. Must get to bed earlier even if that requires drugs! Must sleep.
Today was a low key day went to the library printed off articles, thus creating my own little rainforest for the apartment. I purchased the books I needed- or should I say some of them. This piecemeal purchase road isn’t great but so I follow it. I headed to check on my disbursement status- yeah tomorrow I go into sincere debt!!! And pay for things like tuition, well partially pay. I managed to figure out how to recycle a topic and also a book to do for a book evaluation that I need to do for the one core class that I simply wasn’t sure about (its history I am political science).
Got home before the assault of the down pour happened. Got the fax off to Emanuel- I am praying that the man gets the cell phone taken care of here soon. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. It will make life much easier, people might even talk to me. I was at home most of the evening, did some reading. Tried to get an outline for the presentation that I have to do for one of my classes on Wednesday, but didn’t so much finish it. It is really cool how I can start to see all of the theoretical studies and implication meshing on so many of the articles we read. I am sure I will find it annoying at some point (like I did when I went to watch A Bug’s Life and realized I was sitting there thinking of this kid’s movie in political economy/Marxist terms). But for now- I am reveling in the intellectual joy.

Sunday, September 21, 2003

Dear God did I wake up late. Ah heck noon isn’t that late right, not unless you want to get things done it isn’t. Woke up checked email and read my news and blogs for the day. The day honestly didn’t go that much further. I managed to get a bit caught up in the readings and am almost all the way caught up for my Communications/Jack off class with completed reading, reading summaries and organized notes. Unfortunately I stayed up WAY too late. Like I didn’t get to bed till 4 am. This pattern has got to END here and NOW! It is going to be the death of me. I also got to look at the topics for my specialist module. Kind of sad one of the classes I was most interested in is only taught in the first module and they don’t really do what they say the program is. What did I expect this is Italy! I am sure I will figure out some way to make it work. If nothing else I will enjoy Italy.

Saturday, September 20, 2003

Woke up and did some more reading. Reading is all I exist to do anymore. I wake up just so I can read, I go to bed just so I can wake up to read again. I have almost finishing everything that I can finish. It sucks I have to wait for some of my books to be shipped that I ordered from Amazon, and it is going to take a while to get to me. We went out to the lake again (Lake Jordan- not that great but better than nothing). Joined up with Dan, Becky and Martin (the R-Winger friends- have to teach them the right way, or should I say the left way??). Grilled up some food, tried to study some, went to the waterfront instead. Got Cecily wet (she doesn’t like being wet so she beaned people and just about took their heads off with the frisbee). Swam a bit, played frisbee, and laid out some in the sun. Afterwards we went to eat as this fun shack off the road for seafood. Wasn’t bad seafood either. Headed home changed to try and meet up with the rest of the group. Got into some pissy game playing between a few people. When someone calls your bluff they do and you have to pay the piper for it. We weren’t able to make a way to meet up with people so we gave up on the diplomatic appeasement road and headed straight to the bowling lane. I started off with a strike and the rest well if it were golf I would have won one game hands down! We managed to get a hold of people and figured out where they were and headed over to meet up. Things had mostly faded out from their evening, and there was a bit more drama. I really don’t like the drama queens in the group there are two distinct ones of them. I have no patience for those who try to create drama where there is none. Let alone when they try to make divisions between others for no other reason. After a few drinks at Top of The Hill, we headed back to Martin’s for about 30 minutes. He was trashed so we left him to sleep, dropped Dan off at home and then headed home our selves. Watched a bit of TV to decompress and CRASHED. I am going to need to buy Tylenol PM to get my sleeping patterns on track, 3 am is NOT the normal bed time.

Friday, September 19, 2003

Well it was a pretty relax day. Hurricane Isabel hit late this afternoon. I that storm chaser I am slept through the whole thing. I guess we lost power for a while but really all I did today was sleep I took two different “naps” if you call 3 hours a nap. I slept thorugh most of the “storm” just a bunch of wind. Also slept through the hour or so when we lost power. I managed to get a fair amount of reading done in spite of it all. Reading our on our “balcony” in the nice weather once the storm passed actually it wasn’t too bad. I liked that momentary feeling that I might be seeing the bottom of the barrel. I am sure it wont last for long, there are more readings for next week which I haven’t printed or gotten the books for not to mention some catching up on readings I don’t have the book for yet, but it felt like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I ran some errands with Cecily. None were really successful but they were done and I have a new book (Madame Secretary). Like I need more to read, I mean I actually used to like reading but there is little to no time for pleasure reading any more. I know I should figure out a way to balance that part of it. But balance in my life has not been the strong point I have contributed. We came home thinking we might go out with some of the others but decided against it, stayed home watched TV and crashed. It would be nice to crash and feel like I was really crashed (i.e. sleeping hard and good) but instead I am settling for passing out and sleeping.

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Classes were cancelled good thing cause I don’t have rain gear and I am fucking tired! I have been too much of a party girl with out enough siestas. This is not a good combo for me. A hurricane is coming our way and everything is shutting down. We will probably be home all day which is enough to make me smile and then realize I need to read more. The hurricane ironically is named after my grandma- so I keep saying grandma is coming to visit. Anyways it isn’t that bad we get a 5 day weekend :) I also got to over hear one of my fellow students going through the same thing I went through when I went to Norway. Trying to make a relationship that cant work, work. It really is kind of sad. I don’t have the whole details but the fact is that it seems to me like this is a pretty whipped boy. I HATE seeing men whipped. But even worse is seeing whipped men be treated badly. Girls like that should be shot. They give the rest of us a bad name and well I would really rather they didn’t. I don’t like having to clean up their mess. Especially since I really think that he deserves better. But “love” is blinding. I really wished I had listened to my gut more, but there is no saving anyone else the reality they don’t want to see.

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

What a fun day. I am just loving it. I wake up and go to my nonsense class- it is my elective and basically when we do anything of interest it is basically because the class is like Political Science lite. Not really challenging, but hey having an easy class isn’t always bad, actually yes it is. I ran some errands in between class, deposited my money (hopefully can pay the bills tomorrow), printed off some things- I need to kill more trees it is an inherent need- almost as much as my need to breathe, made an appointment etc. Headed home and I got to use a car. A crap car but I haven’t driven a car in eons so… better than nothing. It was weird driving again. I wanted to drive like I would have were I in Italy. That would not be a good idea though…
I was running late to class, sat through class and ran afterwards to go pick up Tyler and co. YEAH I am seeing a friend from HOME!!! It has honestly been great being here and I have made some new friends that I really do hope to keep on with but HOME!!!!! So we headed our way out to the Dave Mathews Concert. OH yes so much FUN! Got there early and of course started drinking, talking, having fun, relaxing and smiling at the cool weather. The music was great, Dave sang and fiddle man played his heart out. Not as good as the Gorge but it was Dave I jammed and I had a great time. Afterwards the drunk boys (Cam and Ty) enjoyed themselves by directing traffic to get us out of the parking lot. Quite the hysterical event. We then drove home and the group caught a taxi home and I completely crashed out.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Ok I need to get a really good night of sleep on a bed that doesn’t make my back hurt. Futons are for poor college students for a reason- they suck. I am finding the mornings very hard to get moving on. Not a good thing. I somehow managed to get my ass out of bed and moving, thank the lord. Just in time to go to class (with literally no time to spare). After class I got some money- Yee-Haw, I am now in debt. God that makes me feel….well I don’t want to think about that. I have realized quite often in life that I live in a bi polar world. I need structure imposed on my life from external forces- I choose the one career path which will most likely never provide that. I am one of the most active people but also sluggish. I am so damn indecisive, yet the most decisive once a decision is made. The moral of the story about this is that if I don’t allow myself the time or opportunity to think about it I will be much better off.
I went to class, I really enjoy my welfare states class, I know I am weird like that but that is how it goes. I made it home (not to the bank not to any of the other things I needed to get done. GAH!). Cecily and I decorated cupcakes for my roommates birthday which was kind of funny. I received my pants from JCrew. They weren’t the ones that I really wanted, or had tried on before but they are ok and well being that I have nothing that I haven’t already been wearing for the past 4 months and really no longer like I will take what I can get. I really need to learn my lesson though. If I see something and I like it. For Feck’s sake get it!!
I have also made a new self realization. It seems that before 9 am I have Tourette’s Syndrome. It is amplified by trying to read Italian. I swear profusely and would make a sailor blush quite easily. I am some what freaked about this afternoons proficiency exam. I know that I did fine on it but till tomorrow when I hear for sure from Sarah, I am as always paranoid. As a matter of fact today I sign my post with love and paranoia.

Monday, September 15, 2003

I have a topic for one paper. Now I just have to start researching. I think that in writing papers there are hard and easy parts. Figuring out the broad topic, easy- narrowing it to a writable topic hard. Doing the research hard- actually writing it easy- but only after the hard determinations of formulating your research into an outline/point. Yes thank you I am going to be researching broadcasting policies and minority languages for one of the 4 different papers I am going to be writing this term. I am also now able to access the wireless internet on campus, yippee, only took me waiting for 2 hours and then 30 minutes of his time, last time it was two hours of waiting only to have to leave as I was next in line to go to my next class. I love this university.
It seems that I am always one step behind. Maybe my avoiding things might have something to do with that. Anyways went to class today. It was brutal. Kind of a dull class, couldn’t follow points, and really I was nodding off. I do mean that literally my head was bobbing and it was 5pm. After class I went out to eat with the boys. Headed home and then turned around with Cecily to go back to the library. It is a good thing that I like the library, I can even be productive there sometimes. We were there and I was translating for tomorrow’s exam the article that was assigned. Yes tomorrow I am supposed to prove I am proficient in Italian. Fuck I am not proficient in English. OH dear.

Sunday, September 14, 2003

It is the day of motivation. I am going to start my patterns again… I hope. If not there is always another day to start them. Which seems kind of defeatist but there I am and there I stand. I managed to get up later than I hoped but earlier than expected. I ate breakfast, checked my email and then went to work out some. The humidity has returned and with it my foul mood and home is better phase, nope haven’t grown out of it yet. I did about 30 minutes of cardio on the shitty cardio that we have here at the apartment complex. Have I mentioned how crappy it is to have no car and a shitty bus system I was soooooo spoiled in Seattle. I sincerely want to move home some days, if I didn’t love what I was doing so much I would have gone back there from Italy. Came home took a shower, and then read, read and read some more. Most days though I really just feel kind of lonely. Had just created my home system in Seattle and then I up and left it. I am a singleton obsessed with personal independence and a burgeoning affection for fashion and accessories too (couldn’t have developed this when I had money now could I??). I am also a grad student, having to work on not only my patterns but my identity all over again. GAH! Oh well I guess you could say I live my life by frizzy logic.

Saturday, September 13, 2003

You know there are many things I like about the west coast. I think the best is that my Saturday shows are on earlier meaning I can wake up watch my shows and get things done during the day. Unfortunately I woke up to an empty apartment and no clue of anything else. I think the girls might have gone to Durham. I would have gone but I am ok with staying home reading and everything else. Which in this case is seeing what is on BBC and CNN. Well as it turns out that was the jist of my day. I didn’t do a damn thing for most of the day. I read some and then watched some TV and then well watched some more. I saw Legally Blonde for the first time. After which I went to bed.

Friday, September 12, 2003

Went to class this morning, but I just barely made it up. I am going to have to set up a sleeping pattern or something cause waking up was painful. John gave what I thought was a wonderful lecture. That extra shot of home was worth anything. I think cause he is lefty and didn’t hide that he got the righties mad. He is a brilliant man, but if you are going to get caught up in the fact that he shows a political cartoon or you want to search for numbers to prove everything (which I am not one of those people) then I can understand that you might not like him. Dan bless his heart though stayed behind and faced an ambush on a 5 to 1 level for his opinions. All in good efforts though. We still love him even though he is WRONG :) Afterwards we all went out to lunch. After lunch I went to the bank. I got annoyed with their bullshit, it is nice to be able to use them to make phone calls but there are some parts to them that just suck. I knew there was a reason I liked credit unions better.
We went to the student store and I finally bought a small calendar thingy. I am hopeful it will help, either that or I am delusion. Either possibility is valid. Went to the library afterwards and did some reading but not any enthusiastic amount. Which is not necessarily a good thing as the issue is that well- there is a lot of reading and I need to be reading more even if some of it is review for me. This really means I need to one get my things from home and two I really need my loan money so I can just go and get all of my books. I came home hung out with the roommates some and then we went over to Martin’s. We came in stating the lefties came and we brought beer. That broke the ice. Martin is more reasonable than I expected, but still wrong and last night most certainly drunk. I bashed at Martin some anyways though, I am a sincere social democrat at heart but I am also a realist. I know that system won’t work here in the US so I am more of what is now a centrist- so we aren’t all as far apart as we think. We aren’t going to change each other and really that isn’t the purposed of it. We are engaging and that means so much more to me. Most of us can do so in a way that is not attacking the other which means that I think there is a lot of hope for the rest of the semester. We watched American History X which was an intriguing and quite depressing movie- I sincerely recommend it. But at about 3:30am it was time to go home. We left a very cute and very sleeping Martin and headed home. Watched a bit more TV before passing out at 4am. Very bad thing to be up so late, very bad thing. There goes all my good intentions schedules stuff. But hey I can always start again on Sunday.

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Yes it is a day of remembrance but since I have the feeling that so many people wearing all their flag crap are at the heart of it insincere I am not going to talk about that, I have a pretty much an unpopular position- I lost people that day and its mine and politically well formulated but I don’t want to go there defending my right to have an opinon contrary to yours. Plus today is no longer the day of loss only for one people there are now two other September 11th’s that no one recognizes. 30 years ago the US supported the Chilean coup that put Pinochet in charge and cost many people their lives (all in the name of saving the world from communism). There is also the tragic death today of Swedish Foreign Minister Anna Lindh out in broad daylight days prior to the Euro vote.
Instead I am going to talk about the appalling shirt I saw today. It is one that that not so subtly reminds me I am first of all in the south and second of all don’t fit in here. I have accepted the fact that I live in the south the land of the shirt ponies (you know everyone wearing every kind of Ralph Lauren shirt that has a polo pony on it in bright Barbie pink) and sorority girls (which leads to all of them in their events shirts and a carrying Lands End monogrammed bag or these freak flowery quilted bag things- can we tell I am not a girly girl). But today I saw a shirt that I shit you not said this exactly. “Of course we came to find our husbands but we want to find bridesmaids too.” I knew many of the girls came to get MRS’s but I never thought they would be that blatant. It utterly appalled me. I want to hope that there was some kind of tongue and cheek statement in there but to be honest really I know there isn’t, this is why it is frightening.
We went shopping today though and that helped to ease some of my disturbing day. I shouldn’t have gone but I did really good. I got a pair of 9.95 JCrew pants that were a good idea so I am not going to complain and a great pair of Capri pants for 19.95 at Banana. I rock at waiting out the sales! I am broke but since I have none of my things I am justifying it because I have nothing else to wear here anyways. I am however having a patterning issue. I don’t have a calendar and I cant figure out my life. So tomorrows goal of the day is to go with my longer break and get my lap top registered and then get myself a diary (no not the kind from third grade with a key- the calendar kind) and just writing things out so that I don’t get behind cause I am in full force now for all of my classes and I have some reading to catch up on which is where I am going to go to do right now. I treid to get the laptop registered today but as Sods Law has it after 2 hours of waiting I was next in line and class started in 10 minutes. God I love this under funded university.

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

My morning class is a bit annoying as the TA walks around telling me what to do like I am in Highschool, and the topic is about as fluff and pointless as it gets. I still don’t know what the class is about. I know what the synopsis said, but the class. I wish I would have taken the security class- I don’t like security policy, but the Prof would have been a better connection, the class would have had more fun people in it, and well I might have learned something. Sorry this is college if I want to play solitaire and get nothing out of the class and I fail that is my responsibility not yours to be big brother. I had a great afternoon class but it is really annoying that everyone is being so quiet. I really want to engage on these things more but there is a lack of knowledge for some of the other students that’s kind of on the annoying side. I was also really bad by not doing all of my readings but instead watching West Wing and law and Order, I missed those shows! TV and cable is a necessary evil and I am thrilled with having it again. I even read during the commercials :)

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Missed class and prepared for an interview instead- I have my priorities straight, at least it was the class I am auditing. The position sounds interesting, and I would love the money, might even prompt me to structure things a bit better, but I am not sure I want that kind of a commitment either. I think the interview went well but we will see. I should know by the end of the week, I hope. Afterward went to get a Brugger’s lunch bagel. I was so sorely disappointed. I had such fond memories of when we used to have them in Seattle, of when they changed to Zi Pani, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE bagels and lox spread. My salmon spread from the place by Walmart was much better, I know where I will be shopping. Will have to go back there and get lots of it and often. I am addicted. Sure wish it weren’t perishable and I could take it with me.
After class I headed out with some of the others and went to Lucy’s before we headed over to watch a movie screening on the Cold War with one of the professors. Drinking is an integral part of being a grad student I think. Afterwards we went out drinking with the Professor, who even bought the first round. And it continued on… I walked a lot today and got home pretty darn late for a Tuesday night. It seems that any night is game for late night outings. The most hysterical thing though from tonight (which I desperately wish I had a picture of) was Martin playing gangster music on his lap top while walking down the street holding the lap top like a ghetto box. If all the grad school evening this semester are like this then it will be a whole lot of fun, don’t know about the work or learning but it will be a blast.

Monday, September 08, 2003

I went to my morning class, which for the most part is a joke. After which I spent 4 hours trying to print things off in the lab. I love having a break (and I mean a decent chunk of a break) and am really looking forward to when I can use it either at the gym or pool or something. But for now it ends up being me in the lab. I went to our first class with Michaela, who teaches our history class. This one is going to be a bit odd for me, the topic is potentially interesting and I love history but I am always at a loss when it comes to engaging in history as an academic field. There are distinct differences in the way things are approached and written I am well versed in my own area other areas… Well I don’t always do so well with (as apparent by me yelling WTF it took you till page 17 to get to your freaking point!). The start of classes for the program have all been kind of startled around, and this in addition to the start and stop nature of some of the classes (Prof. has a conference so classes get cancelled type things) means that well there is no pattern. I like pattern it is not a bad thing. There are a plentiful amount of reasons why I don’t like semester systems in this program that is only one of them. I came home and ate dinner. I think my favorite part of today was the weather just gorgeous. RAIN, I loved the weather today. I felt at home and that meant everything to me. To feel like I am in Seattle. I tell you it doesn’t matter where you go or what you do- it is the simple and inane things that you will miss. You take them for granted. I am missing Rain for the love of god- trust me you never can tell what you are going to miss.

Sunday, September 07, 2003

I took a nap late last night, and that was a really bad idea. When I was in Italy I could totally do the Siesta, and either stay up or go to bed at night which ever I so chose. It also meant I could figure out a way to convince my body to wake up early in tempting it with the proposition of a nap later on. That doesn’t work so well here. I was up way to late which is just going to add to the fuck up I am doing to my body and its clock. Oh well.
We had a group event today. We went to one of the local lakes. It really looked kind of rainy, turned out the sun came out. The lake isn’t that great, brown water is not something I usually go for. But being out and grilling things up with everyone was nice. I really like how we are all trying to keep up a pattern of group social events to balance things out. I don’t want to see things get divisive. Sure people will get along better with some than others but we should all be able to and occasionally do- go out and have fun. So we did. And I even managed to get a bit of sun.

Saturday, September 06, 2003

There isn’t much to report about today. It is on days like this when I really wonder what this blog is going to become. I haven’t decided on the style of the blog v. journal debates and commentaries. Hell I am just trying to get it up, running, and done. But sometimes when you are simply recounting your day- and there isn’t a whole hell of a lot to it. You kind of wonder should there be more to what you are writing. I am not a creative writing person. Hell I barely have any command or control over anything remotely resembling grammar. I barely have a clue as to who I am let alone what my voice it. I guess I figure that if I write enough then at some point it will reveal itself in one way or another. Evolving things that is what I like. Plus if you let yourself get too damn deep into that whole “Meaning” of life thing you will sink into one hell of a morass- in which you may quite possibly get moreass.
So what didn’t I do today. Well I didn’t do a lot of things. Instead of doing what ever else I could have done I ran errands to the normal stores. Money is getting tight and it isn’t fun sitting here playing idiot games with Financial Aid people. We watched Sex and the City, which I have a growing affinity toward and well sometimes I really get the point and it resonates, plus the fashion (which I could never afford) is fun to watch. I also caved and got a DVD, I may be broke but I was in need of a treat. So I got Coupling I love those shows.

Friday, September 05, 2003

Glorious Friday. I am always excited about Friday but today I am even more excited. We are having our first lecture of our guest lecture series. And the first and second lectures are going to be done by one of my mentor professors from home. I really have been missing home. It sounds somewhat unreasonable but being at another university have definitely put things in perspective for me and wow did I have it good. I was jumping with excitement. I know the righties might not like John (he is a bit left leaning) but I love the man. One of the best things about him in his lecture style is his dynamic nature. None of the professors here really have it. And I sure do miss it.
In the evening we dressed up slightly and went to dinner at Gary Marks with everyone which was nice. The dinner was a bit akward a bit relaxed and an interesting environment to see the professors. There was a bit of a division in the groups- academic elites over here please…. Grad students over there.
Afterwards we all went out for coffee at a great little coffee place. It isn’t a go and study Café Aroma type coffee place. But it is a great night time place to go hang and have a coffee, they had an outside band, the weather had cooled of, and well it was relaxing. I had a hot cocoa, but after the rest of the week and the night before we headed home early cause I was going to crash.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

Well the humidity is finally starting to break free some. And there is a reason for it, the rain. I went to class, which was fine. We went to the library afterwards- watched it pour and then when we thought there was a break. Cecily and I made a run for it. We were wrong it wasn’t a break it was deception. We got light sprinkles. I am from Seattle I can handle this. Then we got poured on. And I don’t mean it rained. I mean it was a torrential pouring on us. To the point that I was drenched and all clothes wet. I laughed about it. Cecily on the other hand hates water and was spazzing. I have to say that made me laugh more. I kind of enjoyed being barefoot and running through the puddles myself. Came home to take a shower and warm up some, delicious feeling being cold but at some point it does wear on you. This is when a hot shower is wonderful.
We went to Martin’s and played asshole. Went out to a bar afterwards and met up with Megan. It was just a fun loud animated night out with some of the other students in the group and friends. Amazingly enough I finally ran into a guy that wasn’t 17, remotely attractive, interesting, likes photography (always a fun hobby to have in common) and was even nice, even better to have some of the flirting reciprocated. It was great to have it affirmed that they do did exist here. See the issue on campus is that you never see them. You see the typical Abercrombie Undergrad but that is about it. We headed to another martini-style bar, and the night was even more memorable. I got hit on at bar #2 by really cheesy tacky man, in the cheesiest of ways. After the third rebuff you would think he could get it, but no. So it meant a curtailing of the flirting with cute boy #1 that came to bar#2 with us. I came home and crashed- again I say I am not cut out for the 3am nightcap calls every night.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

We all had our first class with Milada, which is the Prof. for our theoretical class. It was really actually interesting and I enjoyed it, but if people don’t start talking in class I am going to get annoyed. I feel like I am one of the few who already knew a lot of this stuff, but also who does the readings. But I am not willing to become that person who is the only talker or for that matter the know it all. So I am really hoping that this class will not be 3 hours of sitting in silent frustration. It will be a lot of review but I think she is going to be a real strength in the curriculum.
Went and worked out at our free gym membership place. There is a reason it is free, if anyone paid to go there they would be quite the idiot in my book. Unfortunately I am kind of stuck as I am dependant on the buses and kindness of my roommates common interests. Since the buses don’t run past 7 pm on most lines… well I am crabby. Not having transportation SUCKS. Chapel Hill isn’t a hideous place to be but this transportation issue doesn’t make you like it more that’s for sure. I want to do my yoga but not sure I am going to be able to. And this does not make me a happy girl. Who ever said grad school was all shits and giggles is full of shit with out giggles.

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Went a kind of speedy and somewhat defunct lecture today. Which is kind of sad since I was looking forward to this topic. But I am going to do my best not to jump to any conclusions. The Prof. could be of great help and well the topic really does interest me. As for the rest of my life I am starting to be consumed with dealing with Financial Aid- sure wish I could avoid that part. I am also really getting bogged down in reading, I don’t think I will see the light again. This countered with my weak social will (what you day you want to go out. Sure why not I have reading- Lets go!) is going to be disastrous. There is a rainforest in by bedroom now thanks to all the trees I am killing. It is not a good thing but I cant really highlight a computer now can I? Though I think the most annoying thing is not having my cell phone. Turns out my boss didn’t pay the bill and Verizon is miserable to deal with. Would love to go back to the TIM/SIM card deals of Europe but no I am stuck with out a phone trying to make this all work. It doesn’t work. I am really hoping to get it done by the end of the month.
I can not believe that I ever thought that flying to visit a friend for Labor Day would have been a good idea. I was so tired this weekend and it was so nice to relax. I am so glad even though we did nothing (and I really do mean nothing) that I stayed here.
Ok so I did not get the memo before I left Europe that I all skirts hems are now above my ass. Now since I am short you can guess at what kind of band-aid skirts are all around here in NC. I am sorry but this and some itsy bitsy top when you aren’t Kate Moss or Gwyneth is one big fashion NO-NO. We went to the mall today and tried on the most hysterical outfits! The lime green band-aid mini with an easy access zipper front and a see through top, her in an orange skirt, lime bandeau, and neon pink mesh hoodie. We both just about died laughing. I am an old woman now I am positive of this.
When I got home I made some calls trying to reconnect my phone, minor annoyances that well Annoy and I will have to work on again tomorrow. Money and such are enough to make me want to cry.
Got to talk with my friend Vee, and then decided I should read some before class tomorrow.

Monday, September 01, 2003

Ok so I am back at the same place I was in Grado. Wow I cant believe I left Italy a week ago and that I have been here already a week. It is all amazing. Well I have a great group of roommates. They have helped immensely and the rest of the group from the program seems pretty good too. I didn’t do a whole hell of a lot today. Actually I didn’t leave the apartment, at all. Sometimes that is just who I need to be- the anti-social, hermit girl. Not really a good thing but after a week of doing all sorts of things it was really nice to do nothing.

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